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stephizzle

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twenty one
married
pregnant//due june 27th

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[24 Aug 2007|12:45pm]
i need him
read 1 cmt

[21 Sep 2006|02:56pm]
cmt

cupid's got me in a chokehold [12 Jul 2006|03:48pm]
why can't anything be easy for me? for once in life i just want to go through a day that isnt a constant battle. it's almost like everyone has to test my nerves, well as of right now, they're pretty shot. i don't really have much to write about i guess. there's this boy i guess i could write about, but there's no sense in that. i'm sick of knowing theres just alot of oysters and no pearls i don't know what it is, but it seems like i build relationships with people, and i give all i can give, and i get nothing in return. all i ask is for people to be truthful with me, and i mean is that really too much to ask? why do i even let myself fall for people? why do i let myself get that close to someone? has it ever worked out in my favor? no. and if you're going to read this and then bitch at me about negativity, don't fucking read it okay? it's my journal, it's here for venting and since i have no decent people to talk to, i'm stuck venting onto a blank text box. i take that back, i have two people i can talk to, but they hear so much from me on the daily anyways, why would i bother them with more? ive always wanted to know what about me isnt good enough. everyone says, "you're too good" or "it's not you, it's me" that's just fucking excuses. be honest, have balls, fess up, tell me whats going on. it's not fair. i've been considering moving out of state, i've done it before, i'll do it again. there's nothing here for me. it's baseball season, therefore the "void" in my life called family is truly missing in action. i guess i'm going to stop here, it's just making me more angry.

ps: why can't i have something good happen for once? what have i done that's so wrong that i deserve nothing? why can't i have you?
cmt

the reason why i love shawn. [08 Mar 2006|03:40pm]
1. Who are you?
I'm Dr. Fucking House..... M.D.

2. Are we friends?
Friends? Heh, sure, that's what you could call it I suppose.

3. When and how did we meet?
A bagillion years ago on CF.

4. How have I affected you?
You've changed my entire life.

5. What do you think of me?
You're...uhh....bootylicious?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
Getting married with ring pops. If that isn't juvenile then I don't know what is.

7. How long do you think we will be friends?
Forrr eeeevvvvv errrrrrr.

8. Do you love me?
Like whoa, lol.

9. Do you have a crush on me?
Fo sho'.

10. Would you kiss me?
Not so much kiss as tackle you and do unmentionable things to you involving spandex and whipped cream.

11. Would you hug me?
See ..10.

12. Physically, what stands out?
Does the term "bootylicious" mean nothing to you?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?
That New York Temper. I love it, lol.

14. Do you wish I was cooler?
Yes, that way I could stop burning myself when I touch you. You're hot baby.

15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
3,246,798.4

16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
Vix! Because you're a vixen!

17. Am I loveable?
Like a giant plush bear.

18. How long have you known me?
Too long to remember.

19. Describe me in one word.
Mine.

20. What was your first impression?
Holy shit. (Yes it's a good thing, take it easy.)

21. Do you still think that way about me now?
Yes, lol.

22. What do you think my weakness is?
ME! lmao

23. Do you think I'll get married?
I know you will.

24. What makes me happy?
Me again, lol. (This is a conceited night for me.)

25. What makes me sad?
Rude ass people I would say. Which they seem to surround you.

26. What reminds you of me?
Nirvana - Come As You Are.

27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
A plane ticket.

28. How well do you know me?
Pretty damn well...I hope.

29. When's the last time you saw me?
*sigh*

30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
No, I'm pretty brutally honest.

31. Do you think I could kill someone?
Oh yeah.

32. Do you miss me?
Of course! Even though I'm talking to you right now...

33. Do you think i miss you?
You better, dammit.
read 1 cmt

Survey #2 [07 Mar 2006|02:15am]
SECTION 1

status: hopelessly devoted, but single.
Call me: whenever you need me, i'll be there
height: 5'
eye color: blue
where you at? in my room

SECTION 2- HAVE YOU EVER?

fallen off the bed?: yes my dad was trying to hug me and he rolld me right off the bed
fallen for a relative?: uh no?
had plastic surgery?: no
had a dream come true?: kind of but not yet
done something you regret?: yes
cheated on a test?: yes
broken a body part?: yes

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY

wearing: tshirt and duckie undies
feeling: blah
reading: this text obvi-la
listening: to my fan blowing
craving: shawn


SECTION 4 - DO YOU...

brush your teeth? obvi-la
have any piercings: i've had quite a few now just a buttload in my ears
have any tattoos?: no

SECTION 5 - LAST PERSON YOU...

hugged: don't even know..
IMed: shawn
talked to on the phone: shawn
yelled at: no clue


SECTION 6 - PERSONAL

what do you want to be when you grow up: i guess i'm grown up?

SECTION 7 - FAVORITE

movie: idk? crash? garden state?
relative: not sure
ice cream: mint chocolate chip
candy: i like wild berry skittles. and m&ms
car: audi a6/scion xb
magazine: cosmo! best sex stories
day of the week: friday
color: pink and turquoise

SECTION 8 - DO YOU?

like to walk in the rain?: if i'm holding hands with someone
prefer black or blue pens?: i like blue sometimes.
dress up for halloween?: not anymore
like to travel?: no i get motion sickness
have a goldfish?: i had two. they died.


SECTION 9 - WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR THE WORD:

abortion: babies
summer: hot
tattoos: neato
piercings: neato
drinking: yummie
cmt

Love. [07 Mar 2006|01:43am]
There's this guy.
He lives pretty far away.
I'm in love with him.
He knows.
I guess I just feel kind of stuck right now.
I don't know what to do.
I can't handle this very well.
I love him so much it makes my heart pound.
cmt

Survey... [07 Mar 2006|01:36am]
1. What is your occupation? Medical Bill Examiner

2. What color are your socks right now? White

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Not the kind that you're talking about

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I dont know... boring brown or something

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Shawn

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No one sent me it

9. How old are you today? I'm 20 is that good enough?

10. Favorite drink? Pepsi, Cherry Coke, Lemonade

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? College Basketball

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes
13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses

14. Pets? One stink ass dog

15. Favorite food? Chicken fingers

16. What was the last movie you watched? Don't member.. I think Crash.

17. Favorite day of the year? November 1st

18. What do you do to vent anger? Cry, Throw hissy fits, Call Steve

19. What was your favorite toy as a child? I wasn't much into toys

20. Fall or Spring? Spring

21. Hugs or kisses? Kisses

22. Cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry

23. Do you want your friends to email you back? Sure

24. Who is most likely to respond? No one

25. Who is least likely to respond? Everyone

26. Living arrangements? With my parentals

27. When was the last time you cried? 2 Minutes ago

28. What is on the floor of your closet? A laundry basket filled with shoes

29. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Not sure.. Shawn or Braylen maybe. I don't keep friends around much, they are backstabbers.

30. What did you do last night? Sleep

31. Favorite smell's? Cake, Brownies, Gio by Armani

32. What inspires you? Money? Love? I dont know

33. What are you afraid of? Everything, I'm a geek.

34. Favorite Hamburger? I like a burger with some ketchup and a spot of mustard.

35. Favorite car? Audi A6

36. Favorite dog breed? Yorkshire Terriers

37. Number of keys on your key ring? 4

38. How many years at your current job? 1 month

39. Favorite day of the week? Friday

40. How many states have you lived in? 1

41. Favorite holiday's? Christmas I guess

42. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? No?
cmt

Smiletime!!! [15 Feb 2006|01:47am]
may be okay: you're not soggy around the damn midsection
may be okay: i was making a joke
stephizzle says: yeah right
stephizzle says: gosh
may be okay: geez
may be okay: i mean your skinnier than all the other girls i'm seeign
stephizzle says: oh geez thanks
stephizzle says: lol
stephizzle says: what other girls are you seeing??
stephizzle says: you're a playa and you're holdin out on me?
may be okay: IM KIDDING
stephizzle says: GOSH!
stephizzle says: go to bed
stephizzle says: lol
may be okay: there's that one girl who's trying to get in my pants
may be okay: but if you're soggy around the midsection, this girl is a kuiper belt objec
stephizzle says: lol
stephizzle says: go to bed and get me my dang tiffany boy
may be okay: i thought you were only after my ass
may be okay: i guess it's my wallet though
may be okay: which is on my ass
stephizzle says: so i want both
stephizzle says: gimme?
stephizzle says: :-*
may be okay: ill give you somthin all right
stephizzle says: a nice knuckle sandwich
may be okay: bang zoom
stephizzle says: right to the moon!
stephizzle says: god we're dorks.
may be okay: certifiably
stephizzle says: imma ghettobootied mooch tho member?
may be okay: how could i forget
stephizzle says: omg you're making me die with laughter
may be okay: i was hoping for a more painful demise
may be okay: mua ha ha
stephizzle says: geez you're a sweetheart
may be okay: foiled again
may be okay: Sweet as spoiled sandwiches
may be okay: So, maybe i'm planning your death, and maybe i called you a ghettobootied mooch
may be okay: but you're my favoirte ghettobootied mooch
stephizzle says: well geez i feel special
may be okay: you're actually among my favorite people
stephizzle says: really?
may be okay: god forbid i should express my real emotions
stephizzle says: if you're lying i'll punch you in your kidneys
may be okay: did you get that song i emeialed you
stephizzle says: yes i did
may be okay: did you like it?
stephizzle says: yes
may be okay: it's very different
stephizzle says: yeah
may be okay: you really are among my favorite people
may be okay: and i hate everyone
stephizzle says: wow i rock your socks off don't i jon? :-*
may be okay: so i'm going to bed, but i hope you had a not to bad stupid \/D
may be okay: you have yet to rock my socks off, but i'm hoping for it
stephizzle says: teehee
stephizzle says: okay go to sleepies, have a good day tomorrow
may be okay: goodnight MC Sockrocker
cmt

[10 Feb 2006|11:43pm]
The Best Myspace Survey
* . . About You . . *
Eye Color::Blue
Hair Color::Brown
Height::5ft
Favorite Color::Pink
Screen Name::stephizzle says
Favorite Band::umm right now i dont know
Favorite Movie::garden state or napoleon
Favorite Show::beauty and the geek2
Your Car::ugh you mean my hooptie? i got a cav
Your Hometown::syracuse
Your Present Town::syracuse
Your Crushes First Name::what crush???...OBVI.
Your Grade::don't got one but i would be a junior in college
Your Style::hawt
* . . Have You Ever . . *
Sat on your rooftop?:no
Kissed someone in the rain?:yes
Danced in a public place?:yes
Smiled for no reason?:yes
Laughed so hard you cried?:yes
Peed your pants after age 8?:yes
Written a song?:no
Sang to someone for no reason?:yep to kneegrow
Performed on a stage?:yep
Talked to someone you don't know?:yeah
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?:yeah
Made out in a theatre?:nope
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?:nah i busted my ass one time i skated, that was it for me
Been in love?:yes
* . . Who was the last person to . . *
Say HI to you?:my grandpa ernie
Tell you, I love you?:steve
Kiss you?:steve
Hug you?:hosey
Tell you BYE?:ernie
Write you a note?:uhh whoa..alicia at work prolly
Take your photo?:steve rofl
Call your cell phone?:call it? uh no one calls me but lemme check..hosey
Buy you something?:uhh my moms
Go with you to the movies?:i don't remember i think greg and billy?
Sing to you?:steve
Write a poem about you?:no one
Text message you?:steve
Touch you?:dang this is gettin dirty! haha jk, my moms
* . . What's the last . . *
Time you laughed?:tonight at bingo when my grandma said she keeps her money down her big boobs then she touches em and says "they're down there somewhere"
Time you cried?:uhh i laughed so hard i cried yesterday
Movie you watched?:garden state
Joke you told?:don't member
Song you've sang?:on bended knee-boys II men
Time you've looked at the clock?:right now
Drink you've had?:water
Number you've dialed?:uh steve's.
Book you've read?:don't remember
Food you've eaten?:a calzone
Flavor of gum chewed?:mint??
Shoes you've worn?:my g-units
Store you've been in?:wegmans
Thing you've said?:night
* . . Can You . . *
Write with both hands?:yes i was born a lefty and my grandma trained me to be a righty
Whistle?:haha, no.
Blow a bubble?:yes
Roll your tounge in a circle?:around a banana sure ;)
Cross your eyes?:i don't think so
Touch your tounge to your nose?:no
Dance?:haha, no i attempt to though
Gleek?:YES, i have a gleeking group on myspace, join it niggas
Stay up a whole night without sleep?:it's hard to
Speak a different language?:kinda
Impersonate someone?:yes lol
Prank call people?:yeah
Make a card pyramid?:no
Cook anything?:yep
* . . Finish The Line . . *
If i were a ...:pimp?
I wish ...:you were here
So many people don't know that ...:i'm awesome
I am ...:amazing
My heart is ...:going *pitter patter*
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d
read 1 cmt

[31 Jan 2006|11:56pm]
Okay so this journal entry is way overdue. I guess when I'm not at home, I don't find much time to write here. My life since August has been in complete shambles. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, but hopefully some day I'll realize what I'm supposed to do in this world. So I'll give you all a little recap, although I'm not sure anyone reads this, I have nothing better to do. Most of you know I went to SUNY Plattsburgh in the fall, I had a really great roommate and I loved it there, a week into the semester I was rushed to the ER and had to leave for the semeser and I had surgery in October to remove my gallbladder. In the mean time I got engaged to a guy named Nathan from Potsdam, NY. I basically moved in with him in September against my parents wishes, and stayed there until this past week. So here's where the drama starts, I love Nate, but he's super immature and irresponsible. When I'm in Potsdam, half of the time I'm mad at him because he makes me soo angry. He has no vehicle, no job, and he's obsessed with video games. I mean he'd choose playing Quake over going to sleep with me at night sometimes. I couldn't take it there anymore, it didn't help finding a job there was impossible. I'm a metro-chica through and through I couldn't stand living in the country. So now I'm home, I think I'm even more miserable here, it's so boring. My brother has a girlfriend now, I don't really like her because I try to be friendly and she just rolls her eyes at me, that aint even right. So much has changed in the few months I've been gone from home, it's like my family is totally different. My mom acts like she likes my bros gf better than me, and my little brother is too cool to have a conversation with me. I really miss Nate, I miss having someone to pick on, and someone to muckle with. Although, I've been talking to my old friend Jon ( no not PBJ, the kid from Long Island ) and talking to him makes me feel better about things. I wish I was rich I think money would make me happy, I don't know though I can't seem to find happiness wherever I am in this state. I hope Nate hurries up and saves up money so he can move here. I think things will be better then. In the mean time, Panic! At the Disco is flippin suhweet, I didn't think I'd like them but I do. They got a biggin in their band too, makes it more enjoyable. I hung out with Renee, Char, and Alfreda one day, after I got my hair chopped and I dyed it, I like it now. We had a pretty good time I thought. Better than sitting alone at home in my room ya know? Umm I think I'm running out of things to write about, someone better leave me a comment though dammit! Okay? Over and out for now. Shalom.
cmt

[23 Nov 2005|04:33pm]
I'm home from Potsdam.

I've been talking to Matt alot lately.

I like Thanksgiving.

Turkey is the bomb.

The end.
cmt

[15 Oct 2005|11:51pm]
I'm going insane.
I haven't talked to Nate in 24 hours.
Someone shoot me.
cmt

[05 Oct 2005|08:43pm]
I got a job in Cornwall, Ontario CA so I'll be getting my own place either in Massena NY or in Canada. I wouldn't mind living there the only thing is I would have to either hold a dual citizenship or apply for Canadian citizenship. I like Canada, the government isnt so screwed up. We'll see. Eff Syracuse, I hate it.

I'm never going to live there again.
read 2 cmt

[01 Oct 2005|09:41pm]
I am...(looks)
[ ] tall
[ ] in between
[x] short

[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[x] brunette
[ ] black
[ ] other


[x] blue-eyed
[ ] brown-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[ ] hazel eyed
[ ] gold/gray eyed
[x] glasses
[ ] contacts
[ ] braces
[x] freckles
[x] piercings
[ ] tattoo(s)

[ ] long hair
[ ] short hair
[x] med. Hair

Your nationality includes...
[ ] chinese
[ ] indian
[ ] taiwanese
[ ] japanese
[ ] hispanic
[ ] nicoya
[ ] puerto rican
[ ] chicana
[ ] italian
[ ] scottish
[ ] filipino
[ ] dutch
[x] french
[x] german
[x] swedish
[x] irish
[ ] greek
[ ] portugeese
[ ] polish
[ ] korean
[ ] jamacian
[ ] canadian
[ ] lithuanian
[ ] native american
[x] russian
[x] british
[ ] african
[x] english
[x] Other
[ ] A little of everthing !

Your favorite color(s) are?
[ ] red
[x] pink
[ ] yellow
[ ] black
[x] green
[ ] blue
[ ] white
[ ] silver
[ ] purple
[ ] brown
[ ] orange


Some sports/physical things you have done?
[ ] soccer
[ ] cheerleading
[x] dancing
[ ] lacrosse
[x] field hockey
[ ] hockey
[ ] football
[x] softball
[ ] wrestling
[ ] gymnastics
[ ] track/cross country
[ ] Basketball
[ ] baseball
[ ] golf
[ ] playing in the mud
[x] playing music
[ ] hiking
[ ] kayaking
[ ] camping
[ ] horseback riding
[x] swimming
[x] volleyball
[ ] karate
[x] tennis

Your personality is sometimes...
[ ] annoying
[x] talkative
[x] shy
[x] funny
[x] serious
[x] bubbly
[ ] spazzy
[x] fun loving
[x] laid back
[ ] strict
[x] hyper
[x] weird


The music you like is?
[x] rap
[x] rock
[x] pop
[ ] country
[ ] hip hop
[ ] r&b
[ ] slow jams
[ ] Christian
[ ] classical
[x] techno
[ ] oldies
[x] punk
[x] Metal (some..)
[ ] reggaeton
[ ] Goth
[ ] Latin
[ ] House
[ ] Old Skool Funky House
[x] Emo
[x] Indie
[x] Alternative
[ ] blues

The pets you have/had are?
[ ] cat
[x] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] rat
[ ] ferret
[ ] rabbit
[x] fish
[ ] Bird
[x] other

Clothes you like to wear are?
[x] plain tshirts
[x] sweatshirts
[ ] stockings
[ ] boots
[x] high heels
[x] sneakers
[x] jeans
[x] pj pants
[ ] boxers
[x] underwear
[ ] dresses
[ ] mini skirts
[ ] knee length skirts
[ ] long skirts
[x] watches
[x] necklace
[x] hoop earrings
[ ] toe socks
[x] flip flops
[x] halter tops
[ ] stilletos
[x] band shirts
[ ] shorts
[ ] shirts that say clever things

How do you like to wear your hair?
[x] down
[x] ponytail
[ ] pigtails
[x] messy bun
[ ] half ponytail
[x] scrunched/curly
[ ] bun
[ ] crimped
[ ] with a bandana
[ ] French braids
[ ] lots of little braids
[ ] Gel
[ ] Hat
[x] messy
[ ] Faux hawk
[ ] mohawk

You're mostly labeled as?
[ ] goth
[x] emo
[ ] prep
[ ] punk
[ ] hippie
[x] nerd
[x] ditzy
[ ] hyper
[x] happy
[ ] everything
[x] i have no idea
[ ] faggot
[ ] Thugged out

You eat?
[ ] dessert every night
[ ] no meat
[ ] diet stuff
[ ] healthy foods
[x] junk foods
[x] a lot of carbs
[ ] lots of meat
[x] salad
[ ] seafood


A typical friday night i'll be...
[x] mall with your friends
[ ] partying
[x] watching movies
[ ] going to the club
[x] staying home
[ ] babysitting and getting $$
[x] hanging out w/ my friends
[x] out w/ your boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ] working while your friends are out having fun!

Currently you are...
[x] in a relationship
[ ] single
[ ] crushing
[ ] single and looking for someone
[ ] just broke up


Online, you use:
[x] lol
[ ] sup
[ ] =D
[x] lmao
[x] stfu
[x] ty
[x] j/k
[x] ttyl
[x] g2g
[ ] ^^
[ ] T_T
[ ] x_x
[ ] ^_^ (^-^)
[x] wtf
[ ] none of the above

Did you like this survey?
[ ] yeah
[ ] no!
[x] it was ok
[x] it was something to do
cmt

[27 Sep 2005|02:15pm]
I surrender.
cmt

8.11-8.22 [10 Aug 2005|03:13pm]
hittin up louisiana new orleans style


stephizzle out
read 1 cmt

[07 Aug 2005|01:10am]
List 20 People In No Specific Order

1. Eric
2. Steve
3. Mandy
4. Sam
5. Shawn
6. Matt
7. Nate
8. Renee
9. Greg
10. Becky
11. DC
12. Billy
13. Adam
14. Jenny S.
15. Fred
16. Emily
17. Alicia
18. Sue-Ellen
19. Shelly
20. Ashley


01. How did you meet 13? i met adam in highschool

02. What would you do if you never met 5? never would've gotten obsessed with fox series without shawn

03. Have you ever liked 3? used to til the bitch became a whore

04. What do you honestly think of 10? love her, she's my babies mama

05. Would or did 19 and 8 go out? they aint the "L" word

06. If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? i loved em?

07. Would 2 and 11 make a good couple? N.O. steve aint datin no one but homegirl right hurr

08. Describe 6 in 3 words: sexy, musical, eye-sensitivityness = matt

09. Do you think 12 is hot? eh?

10. Would 1 and 17 ever go out? no, eric dont feel the 'groids and alicia don't feel the penis. rofl

11. What do you think of when you see 8? bootylicious

12. Tell me something humiliating about 11. hmm i know something but it'd humiliate me more than her

13. Do you know any of 7's family members? no

14. What's 20's favorite color? red

15. On a scale of 1-10 how hot is 14? umm shes a 6

16. What would you do if 4 just professed their undying love for you? be shocked, i love my boo sam

17. What language does 19 speak? shelly is a valley girl to the max.

18. Who is 8 going out with? dang nobody..all up in renee's grill guess she's lucky number 8

19. Does 2 have any siblings? yep homeboy's got 2 sisters

20. Would you ever date 7? yes i <3 nate

21. Is 15 single? nope

22. What is 10's fantasy? she wants to have an orgy with claudio sanchez + omar rodriguez + cedrix bixler/zavala and stephizzle. for rizzle.

23. What school does 16 go to? emily graduated from lemoyne, now lives in chi-town

24. Where does 9 live and where are they from? greg lives in potsdam/massena--from plattsburgh

25. Would you make out with 13? nope adam aint my type

26. How did you meet 15? middle school grant niggas

27. What grade is 17 in? aliciaaa is a soph in college

28. When was the last time you talked to 12? don't remember, but he was in some drunken state

29. What is 1's favorite band? umm..its either system of a down or.. kmfdm but im sure its soad

30. Would you ever let 18 date one of your friends/siblings? nah son
read 1 cmt

heartbroken [04 Aug 2005|11:19pm]
stephizzle is me and finch is my brother


stephizzle: i'm done with you
finchis: why is this
stephizzle: why? because i'm not apart of this freakin family anymore
stephizzle: i'm lied to CONSTANTLY
stephizzle: i'm told they arent going
stephizzle: then they go
stephizzle: does anyone give a crap i'm going away to school?
stephizzle: or do they only care about you?
finchis: idk.
finchis: dad's not going
stephizzle: IF HE COULD GET TIME OFF HE WOULD
stephizzle: I WASNT EVEN INVITED
stephizzle: I TOLD MOM IF THEY WERE GOING I WANTED TO GO
stephizzle: WAS I INVITED?
stephizzle: NO.
finchis: dang.
finchis: not my fault
stephizzle: it is your fault
finchis: how.
stephizzle: you're the one playing baseball if you werent playing mom wouldnt leave
stephizzle: i dont even really care let her go let her stay there, i'll just marry whatever guy i date next up in plattsburgh and i'll stay up there
stephizzle says: because no one gives a crap enough about me to stay home for a freakin week before i go off to college
finchis: ur lame.
stephizzle: thanks al
finchis: well ur mad at me i didn't do anything!
stephizzle: I'M MAD BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME GOING TO SCHOOL
stephizzle: THEY'VE NEVER CARED
stephizzle: EVERY YEAR I'M STUCK HOME TO WATCH THE FREAKIN DOG
stephizzle: AM I EVER INVITED TO GO WITH YOUS?
finchis: they do!
stephizzle: NO
stephizzle: WAS I INVITED TO MARYLAND?
stephizzle: NO
finchis: well im sorry
finchis: yes
stephizzle: AM I INVITED TO LOUISIANA?
stephizzle: NO
stephizzle: WHEN I CALLED THE HOTEL ROOM WAS I TALKED TO?
stephizzle: NO THEY WERE TOO BUSY TALKING TO CINDY OBRIEN
stephizzle: I HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS
stephizzle: BECAUSE I'M APART OF THE FAMILY AND NO ONE EVER FREAKING INVITES ME TO GO ANYWHERE WITH THEM
stephizzle: DID I GO TO LAKE ARNOLD WITH THE WHOLE FREAKING FAMILY A COUPLE YEARS AGO? NO
finchis: you can go!
stephizzle: I'VE BEEN LEFT HOME EVERY SUMMER SINCE I WAS 17
stephizzle: I HOPE YOU BREAK YOUR LEGS SO YOU CAN NEVER PLAY BASEBALL AGAIN
finchis: ..shut up
stephizzle: NO!
stephizzle: SCRATCH THAT, SIXTEEN
stephizzle: I'VE BEEN LEFT HOME EVERY SUMMER BY MYSELF SINCE I WAS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD
stephizzle: PLANS ARE CONSTANTLY MADE AND I'M NEVER INVITED
stephizzle: I'M NEVER EVEN ASKED
stephizzle: I JUST GET TOLD "WE'RE LEAVING IN A FEW DAYS"
stephizzle: HALF OF THE TIME I'M NOT EVEN TOLD WHEN YOU GUYS GO SOMEWHERE, MOM AND DAD LEFT FOR YOUR GAME YESTERDAY AND DIDNT EVEN TELL ME THEY WERE GOING ANYWHERE! I HAD NO CLUE! I COME DOWNSTAIRS AND I'M HOME ALONE!
stephizzle: DOES ANYONE EVER COME UP TO TALK TO ME WHEN THEY KNOW I'M CRYING? NO
stephizzle: maybe you should let your mother read this.
finchis: i did.
stephizzle: and what did she have to say about it
finchis: nothing.
stephizzle: didnt freaking think so
read 1 cmt

[02 Aug 2005|04:23pm]


my love kurt nilsen

<3
read 2 cmt

[26 Jul 2005|04:50pm]
on the west island
too far from all she knows
she's dreaming of her face

on the east island
too close to all he loathes
he's pondering his fate.

they have lost touch found fear
underestimated distance
as its press and pull on mind and heart
twist his her emotions into slip knots

their faces words thoughts ideas
wrapped sent in satellite distortion
coded compressed censored
his her comfort now confusion heartbreak.

she lost faith in their fate
he clutched in vain at his core
when the ocean won
in cahoots with panic

on the ring of a phone
on the press of a key
on the lick of a stamp
on the underside

it was perfect.
read 1 cmt

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